Disclaimer:
I did not make this guide. This is a guide by King Underivative, the king of gamefaqs. This guide was morally and financially supported by me. King Underivative is not responsible for any awesome attacks or drastic life changes. This guide is made to get you places in life; which may lead to over-coolness.
Copyright King of Kings Inc, 2008.


This guide comes with a 100% guarantee of changing your life for the better if you choose to read and learn from it.


Table of contents
I. Intro
II. What’s an asterisk?
III. The problem
IV. The excuses
V. The Replacements
VI. The solution
VII. Life turnarounds
VIII. Special thanks



Intro:

It seems like there are many kids going around pretending as if they actually know how to use asterisks. The cold hard truth is that they really don't, but they most likely will deny it and continue on with it and some, if they're addicts who excessively use them, will even whine about it. However, do note that I am not classifying addicts and the occasional asterisk abusers differently, because the common thing about them is that they are stubborn and are afraid to accept the truth, which would also lead to changes. The point of this topic is to get a message out to the youth about how to correctly use these symbols so they can become successful in life.


What's an asterisk?

An asterisk is a symbol which represents many things, but seeing how the kids here only use them for text, I'll limit the definition to text only.

*Asterisks are used as footnotes on a document. For those who have no clue of what a footnote is, it's usually at the bottom of the page to either cite a source or interpret something for the reader.

*To censor profanity or omit other words.

*They can be used as bullets (No little kids, not the e-bullets from an e-gun that you use with asterisks, the grammatical ones.), as seen in this section.

But that's pretty much it for text.

To input an asterisk, simply hold the “Shift” key and press the number [8] (not on the number pad), hold the “Alt” key and press [4+2] (this time on the number pad), or simply press the key next to the minus sign on the number pad.



The problem:

"Our children are being becoming more and more delusional through the misuse of asterisks. They actually believe that its happening..." ~ Muc Schwartz


Scenario #1:
"yo i aint like the way u using that intelligent logic so
*shoots yo face*
now what?"

Translation: "You have defeated me and leave me no other option than to pretend that I actually killed you so I can assume that I won."

Where can I find this?
Usually in an argument where the lost kid is overwhelmed by intelligent and logical points brought into the topic by his or her opponent.

Scenario #2:
"lets play superman!!! *SHOOTS HYPERBEAM OUT OF ME EYES TO SHOOT LEX'S BALD HEAD AND REFLECT IT ONTO AN AIRPLANE*"

Translation: "Man, I'm bored out of my mind, and instead of doing something creative and productive, I'll pretend I'm a character from a cartoon/anime on an internet message board."

And where can I find this bad boy?
Almost everywhere on the internet where kids are allowed to convey messages.


Scenario #3:
"ooo ur hot even tho i havent seen u irl or a pic of u. lets cyber! *sticks...*"

Let's not get too graphical. To the parents out there, this is also known as "cybering," which is a simulation to real sex.

I don't think I want to look for this one
Of course you don't, but for the FBI, they can be found wherever fourteen year old males are on the internet (but we all know you're not looking for fourteen year olds), most likely using popular gaming sites.


As you can see, it's not a pretty "site" if a kid is going around doing such disgusting, degrading acts.