*takes deep breath*

Dr. Uwe Boll...

What more should I say?

Out of the 7 billion people on the face of the planet, one person (Uwe Boll) has managed to make himself hated by an entire group: Gamers.

Why? Because he is a movie director. Oh! What awards has he won? If you loopk at major awards, you will see none with his name under. If you look at parody awards, such as Golden Raspberry Awards (the anti-Oscars), he'll be nominated in many. Why? In my opinion, because he sucks balls.

Fact: He finances his own movies.
Fact: He makes video game movies...
Fact: He makes video game movies...suck.

Many of Boll's movies, especially those based on video games, have been critically panned.Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne II: Deliverance and House of the Dead appear on the Internet Movie Database's Bottom 100 films list. In a review of Alone in the Dark, Rob Vaux states that the movie should make all other "bad" movie directors feel better in comparison: "'It's okay,' they'll tell themselves, 'I didn't make Alone in the Dark.'" Another reviewer wrote that Alone in the Dark was "so poorly built, so horribly acted and so sloppily stitched together that it's not even at the straight-to-DVD level." (taken from Wikipedia.)

He's even expressed interest in making more video game movies. :what?!!: For instance, he said he had talked with Metal Gear creator Hideo Kojima about making a Metal Gear Solid movie. Kojima, who really hadn't seen Boll, stated in his blog: "Absolutely not! I don't know why Uwe Boll is even talking about this kind of thing. We never talked to him. it's impossible that we'd ever do a movie with him." He even talked with Blizzard Entertainment about doing a World of Warcraft movie (this time he did actually talk). Funny enough, they turned him down with a polite "We will not sell the movie rights...not to you. Espically not to you.", right to his face. Even video game companies know better than to let Uwe Boll make their games into "movies".

Then comes the "reason" his films are bad. He blamed his crew once.
(taken from Wiki)
Blair Erickson, a writer of a treatment for Alone in the Dark, has written a critical account of his experience working with Boll, in which Erickson alleges that Boll stole ideas from prior movies and wanted to add elements to the story that were not true to the tone of the source material. Uwe chose to not use Erickson's script, citing reasons such as it having "not enough car chases."

Boll blames the poor commercial performance of his video game adaptations on his distribution company, Romar, and has filed a lawsuit against them.[Boll's films prior to the release of House of the Dead received better reception. The New York Times, for instance, gave Blackwoods a positive review, although overall reactions to the film have been negative.

MTV Movies Blog suggests, "If you’re not going to make a faithful adaptation, why make an adaptation at all?"

One thing he cant' seem to get in his head is criticism. He's so full of himself, he'll get mad at teh critics and even challenge them to boxing matches (Boll: "Put up or shut up.")

In the Alone in the Dark DVD commentary, he responds to criticism that his adaptations make significant changes to the plot and style of the source material: "Fans are always totally flipping out and I understand that the fan of a video game has his own agenda in his head and has his ideas about what is a good movie and what is a bad movie." Referring to House of the Dead, Boll said: "I think I made a perfect House of the Dead movie, because it really shows how the game is. It's a lot of fun, it's over-the-top action." Boll is especially critical of his internet detractors. Referring to two Ain't It Cool News critics who negatively reviewed his work, Boll said, "Harry (Knowles) and Quint (Eric Vespe) are retards."

Boll also criticizes the game companies themselves for providing zero support once the movie license is sold. He cites the cross-promotion and support which comic-book-based properties adapted for the screen receive, whereas video game companies often "sell off the license and then forget about it." He argues that this is the reason video game adaptations are not well received by critics and audiences.

When Wired published a negative review of Postal, Boll responded with an e-mail claiming that the critic "(didn't) understand anything about movies and that you are a untalented wanna bee filmmaker with no balls and no understanding what POSTAL is. you dont see courage because you are nothing. and no go to your mum and f**k her ...because she cooks for you now since 30 years ..so she deserves it". Boll claims that this angry e-mail was sparked not by the review, but because the Wired editor told Boll in person that the editor loved the movie, then turned around and published a negative review.

In April 2008, The Guardian ran an article claiming Boll had promised to retire if an online petition at petitiononline.com asking him to do so received 1,000,000 signatures. As of May 21 there are 280,263 signatures. (I already signed)

Uwe Boll has released a video stating that he is "the only genius in the whole f**king [movie] business" and that other directors such as Michael Bay and Eli Roth are "f**king retards". He promises that his upcoming film Postal will be "way better than all that social-critic George Clooney bullsh*t that you get every f**king weekend." He has also expressed hopes that somebody will start a Pro-Uwe Boll petition, which he is sure will hit a million signatures. At least two persons have already counter-protested the present petition thus far, signing with such statements as "please keep making cool videogame movies" and "I LOVE YOU UWE BOLL YOU ARE TEH BEST," however these have remained isolated cases.

Boll then appeared on Thursday, April 10th's episode of G4's Attack of the Show, where he was interviewed regarding his controversial online retort. He also stated that he believes that his upcoming adaptation of Postal (from the video game of the same name) could beat Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull at the box office, because Harrison Ford is older than his deceased grandfather.

Really? Let's take a look at the stats:

Indy 4
Rotten Tomatoes: 78%
Metacritic: 65/100
Box office: $482,481,000

Postal:
Rotten Tomatoes: 10%
Metacritic: 22/100
Box office: $142,761

*take another deep breath*

So there's my opinion on Uwe Boll. One of my favorite games, Far Cry, has fallen to him, set to be released this year.

to anyone who reads this, please put your opinion on the doctor.

**COMPLETELY OFF TOPIC**

I got my new computer today. It's sweet!

~buckyboy

*Off Topic*
Sweet. Gonna post pics anytime soon?

*Back On Topic*
Guy sounds like a total douche. I never watched any video game movies besides the resident evil ones, and if this guy's movies are as bad as everyone claims, I'm glad I never did.

Failure Director Fails.

i signed that anti-Uwe Boll petition ages ago, and it makes me really sad that it still hasn't even hit the 300,000 mark yet. i generally try not to express negative opinions about anyone without citing specific facts to back it up, but i really hope someone beats the living hell out of Mr. Boll.

in fact, i am reminded of a webcomic i saw a while back... if i can find it again, i'll post a link to it here.

**edit**
okay. the strip isn't about Uwe Boll, but he is in there. here's the link:
http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp01172005.shtml

To me, this whole Uwe Boll hate thing is becoming just plain stupid. Hardly any of us have even SEEN his movies, but we just hate on him nonetheless. Who cares if he doesn't make a faithful adaptation? I certainly don't. He's an independent director, he can do whatever the heck he wants. He can talk as much crap as he wants, too.

Uwe Boll is just another object the internet has decided to hate on. I pity him and I pity those who waste their time even thinking about him.

completely forgot about this topic.

Well, of course some people hate him even though they probably haven't seen any of his movies. But I'm not one of htem. I've seen two of his movies: Seed and House of the Dead.

Here's the truth: He isn't that bad of a director. Seed, was a movie created by Uwe Boll completely. He wrote the script, created the characters, and created the movie. This is one of two movies he's created in the US that weren't video game movies. When I saw it, I thought it was actually good. It was when I was really into horror movies, and the story was unique. It had good action for it. The only problem was that it wasn't that widely distributed, so it didn't get that much attention.

That's how I see whay he wanted to get into the video game movie business. With the success of Resident Evil, he probably saw an opportunity to attract a new kind of general audience. So his first video game movie, House of the Dead, based off a game I sent probably hundreds of dollars on at the local bowling alley, was the one I went to see.

The only problem is, when (and if) a person that has played the game went to see a movie based off the game, they want to see the same characters, plot, and locations. House of the Dead, did none of these. Sure, there was a small reference at the end to the original game, but that's it! Nothing else except a small, minor character that isn't really even that important.

But, even after the horrible reviews given to the movie, he decided to go for another video game series. Alone in the Dark, which I haven't played or seen, so I have no real opinion on the matter, but apparently that didn't go so well with viewers or reviewers.

Then when you think about how he finances his movies, its because of his own business, KG Boll, which is apparently stationed in Europe. Then when you think about German laws towards movies, they actually give you money to create adaptations of anything. He is literally getting money for free just because he decides to make a movie adaptation. I mean, sure he loses money with each movie hes made (except Seed, which I think is the only movie he's had with a profit) but then again, its his business, which apparently does extremely well in order to pay for a ten million dollar movie that'll only bring in about 200,000.

I mean, his own movies are good. He has a creative mind. It's just that he shouldn't use this on video games that are widely known, because fans like the current story. Changing the story, locations, and characters bacause you think its for the best doesn't really help your rep as a "good" movie director.

The only reason I signed the petition is not because I want him to stop making all movies. I just want to stop him from making video game adaptations, and this seemed like the only way.

So... er... he says he's the only genius in "the whole f**king business"?

What about Steven Spielberg? What about George Lucas? What about Michael Bay? What about almost everyone else? They aren't movie-making geniuses? Either Boll's opinion of himself is way too high or he's never seen a movie he didn't make.

Ah, Uwe Boll. The day may come when your video game movies are seen as a milestone of movie-making. The day may never come when they are seen as good.

Edit: Oh, you forgot to mention that House of the Dead used footage from the game in one part of it! Not to mention that it's taken from the attract mode, so it's complete with blinking "PRESS START" text. *facepalm*

Uwe Boll is a genious among the rejects in the movie business, where no one even compares to his glowing magnitude of awesomeness whilst he is surrounded by 3 bone dragons(all LV 57+) on his throne of death and destruction. Anyone who disagrees will be thrown immediately and harshly onto the all-powerful Uwe Boll's list of peeps who can't see talent. For srsly.